I turned and turned around in bed but sleep just didn't want to visit me. I picked up the phone to check the time. 4.26 a.m. I still had a hour to go before I should start getting ready for school. I tried to close my eyes tightly to induce sleep but my efforts came to no avail.
My nightmare was haunting me-the nightmare I had been dreaming of since I saw for the first time a batch of Form 5 students leaving the school.And I knew that this day was going to be that dreadful day.
I took a quick shower, gulped down my breakfast, and continued reading my Biology notes. Somehow, I just didn't have a good feeling about that subject's exam that day as I had not completely read my intensive notes. I ran across each page and managed to read them completely. However, that feeling was still there.
I reached school and greeted my wonderful friends with my smile. Everyone was so focused on Biology but my mind was running elsewhere. I told them that this day would be the saddest day of my life up to date. They smiled back, with signs of sadness in their eyes as well.
So, things proceeded and we sat for the Biology Paper 1. It was good. After that, my friends and I rushed to return our textbooks to school. We had a great laugh. I caught a glance of endless clouds and asked myself, "Did this day really have to come this fast?"
Next up was paper 2. The essay was a bit of a problem but I managed to crap something especially for the question that asked about thalassaemia. After that, as usual, it was lunch time. We decided to eat quickly and return to read up on some Biology experiments. But when we returned to school, that dream just didn't materialise.
Everyone knew what we were facing. It was practically the last day of our schooling life. Although I still have one more exam to take, less than half of my close group of friends will be taking that exam. We ended up making jokes and laughing around that it caught the attention of many. One of my friends said this jokingly, "Everyone studying for bio but there's one f***er up there (i was upstairs) who is so relaxed". If only he had realised the mixed emotions creating havoc in my heart.
Paper 3 was much better than paper 2. As the clock ticked by, everyone was thinking about enjoying and freedom. It was like we were getting our own Independence. It was a great feeling. I couldn't stay in my chair for long. I went to the toilet twice in ten minutes just to take a look of all those people who had left their exam rooms earlier to enjoy.
As the teacher said "time's up" and started collecting the paper, everyone was already smiling. As she took my paper, I stood up and snapped a photo of my exam class with most of my classmates still in their seats. Then, I quickly rushed out to get my extra school shirt form my bag. I asked my classmates to sign on the front as I had dedicated the back portion to my Prodigy members.
I waved loud goodbyes to my friends. I might never meet them after this. I folded my shirt neatly into my bag and rushed to meet up with my close friends. Firecrackers burst as we left the school compound. The teachers were angry but no one had any proof of who lit up the firecrackers.
Then, as the students went back home one by one, sometimes in droves, my friends and I had our last bonding session. We took funny videos first. I think all of us were indeed trying to hide our feelings. Then, as we were about to go back, we made our first and last sad video in school uniforms.
You can check out the video when I post it on facebook. Honestly, I felt like crying. I tried holding back my tears as much as I could by conjuring up simple smiles and short laughter. Once the video was done, we hugged each other for one last time and set off on our way back home at around 5 p.m.
I sat at the the overhead bridge reminiscing about the 5 great years I had had in school. I took out the autographed shirt to see what my friends had written. Many wrote "good luck" and "love you" with smileys. I just don't know how to put my feelings that day into words. It was like there was something empty in my heart.
I wonder how my future is going to be. I'm 100% confident that I'll never get friends like the ones I have know in the future. Everyone is acting so matured these days. We were a total opposite and we enjoyed living that way. We made the silliest jokes and did the most outrageous things that students could have done in school.
School life is school life. It's a part of life that most people go through. I use to wonder how the Form 5s before me could walk out so happily on their last day of school. Now, I know the answers. Their joy of finishing the burdening SPM examination overshadowed their bonding with their friends. In my case, my bonding with my friends just overpowered everything else.......
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