Quite a number of my friends were already waiting for me when I returned home. I greeted each with a smile knowing that that could be the last time I was going to see them. Even then, my mind was still not grasping the magnitude of what was about to happen in a week's time.
I put on my favourite shirt and went downstairs to be greeted by a whole group of people I knew, from near and far. My house was so full with people, and I knew almost everyone of them. That's a lot of people to say goodbye to me.
I felt overwhelmed for a moment that that entire occasion was for me. Are you kidding me? What was happening to me that I needed such a big crowd. "You're going off to live your dream and these are some of the people whom you will be leaving behind", my inner self told me.
My closest friends were drowned out in the crowd, something that never happens when I am around them. But that was reality - many, many people actually came for my farewell party. I'm touched. But somehow, I'm still not overwhelmed.
My friends left at 1 in the morning. I cleaned up the place and went to bed. I was still not getting it. Why is this a big deal? Is it really that big of a thing? Why am I a celebrity all of a sudden? Why was the spotlight on me today? What kind of an impact did I have on people? Was I that important? None of these questions came up to me. I just didn't seem to get the magnitude of what was about to happen.
The days flew by just like that. Soon, it was Wednesday - a day before my 20th birthday. My mega best friend decided to celebrate my birthday today. How nice of her. She cooked lunch for me and we went over to her apartment. She needed some help with her study table and shelf, so I helped her fix it. Lunch was really nice. Salmon, mashed potatoes and boiled vegetables. And then, we went for a short swim in the pool despite running out of time to get back home. Before getting back home, we went to get me a pair of formal shoes which I needed to wear soon. And then, she got me a small birthday cake and we cut it at night. And just like that,Wednesday went by. It was too quick.
Thursday was bound to be a day of nostalgia. It was my last training session and basketball outing with friends. I was just sitting there with my coach and thinking about all the good times and hard work I had put in across the years. The younger boys will be much bigger when I see them the next time. I bade one last farewell to them before I drove off to my final basketball game with Prodigy.
I was unusually early. No one was there yet. The skies were clear and bright. I sat on the swing all alone just staring into empty space. I looked at the basketball and tried to recall all the fun moments my friends and I had playing basketball and football. It's not what we did, but it was the emotions that related to these experiences that was coming back to me. So much of emotions flowed right into me, and my heart just felt heavy. To leave all this and to go, that is quite a sacrifice. I played my last game and bade farewell to the place I had had the most fun in the last 9 months.
It was my birthday today, so my mum baked me a cake. My family had a small celebration for me. I've always wanted my mum to bake a cake for my birthday. She couldn't do it the last 2 years because of circumstances that I can't remember now. I was happy she baked one for me this time.
Hours later, it was Friday. I was still confused about what's happening. What is actually happening to me? Why am I feeling so emotionless when everything is centered on me now? I felt indifferent. I was still going with the flow. I was going out with my friends later tonight.
But before that, I had one last dinner with my coach and a few of my training friends. It was my last dinner with them, but I still couldn't grasp the magnitude of the event. The fact that the dinner was for me was not settling in. My emotions were shut out. I couldn't feel how much I would miss these people who had meant so much to me. I knew they were gonna feel it, and I'm sure the sight of me walking away after hugging each one of them stayed in for a while.
A while later, I was on the way to the night club with my friends. We tried our luck in one of the places, but got "kicked out" because we were below 21 years of age. Every other club was closed down because that Friday happened to be the day of mourning for the MH17 victims. After all the chaos of lost directions, we settled down in a bar. There were funny moments all along the way till we slept at 7.30 a.m. God bless the cleaners in McDonalds.
Again, I was still acting so normal. Why is that so? I couldn't come to terms with myself. It was as if it was a normal outing with friends. I didn't feel like I was leaving them. All that was running in my mind was that I'm not understanding the fact that I'm leaving to America the next day. It was as if it was a dream.
Saturday night, my friend helped me to repack my suitcase because my packing consumed too much space. Honestly, she did most of the packing and I was just staring at her doing it all the time. I knew I was going to miss her a lot as well. Tomorrow, at this time, I would be in the airport.
The atmosphere changed that night in my house. I could see the look on my siblings' face : The day they dreaded was approaching. I could feel the sadness in my sister's and brother's eyes as they watched my friend help me pack. I was leaving them for a long, long time. Somehow, I could feel their heart. I held back my tears.
Sunday finally came. I noticed every small thing I did, constantly telling myself that I probably won't be doing that for sometime. My relatives came over to see me that day. It all happened so fast. Soon, I was taking my last shower at home. I adorned my suit and was ready to leave. After a conversation, with my neighbours, I was on my way to the airport, with my family and closest buddies.
In the airport, I had to move some stuff from my luggage and things were good to go. My friends and I just had to get crazy again and rendezvoused in the playground inside the airport. All that while, all I could think of was "where else can I find friends like these?"
Before we knew it, we were at the gate. I gave my final hugs to my friends. I got a picture with every one of them-the last pictures I would take before I left. Each and every one of them meant something to me, and nobody could replace them. I don't know who to thank for bringing them in my life. We had a group hug and next up was my family.
My dad hugged me extra tightly that day. It had a different feel to it; he's probably already missing his son. My mum broke down in tears and I hugged her for a longer time than usual, saying "it's ok. I'll be back". My sister was in tears too. We never spent that much time before I left because she was already studying in her matriculation college, but she's been my sister for 18 years. She was definitely feeling the loss of the presence of her big brother. And my little brother, he was a strong boy. He said bye without shedding a single tear, but I knew he was probably gonna be affected the worst. We fight, we argue but at the end of the day, we are still brothers. And nobody can replace that figure in him.
I tried to give everyone one last look before I cleared immigration. Everyone was waving at me. At that moment, I realized how lucky I was to have so many people around me. Not everyone has that kind of luxury. One last familiar smile, one last wave, and I was off into the unknown......
P.S. The next blog post is going to be about Rusky. The author assures you that the emotional message will be much stronger then. It's not a story for the faint-hearted
Thursday was bound to be a day of nostalgia. It was my last training session and basketball outing with friends. I was just sitting there with my coach and thinking about all the good times and hard work I had put in across the years. The younger boys will be much bigger when I see them the next time. I bade one last farewell to them before I drove off to my final basketball game with Prodigy.
I was unusually early. No one was there yet. The skies were clear and bright. I sat on the swing all alone just staring into empty space. I looked at the basketball and tried to recall all the fun moments my friends and I had playing basketball and football. It's not what we did, but it was the emotions that related to these experiences that was coming back to me. So much of emotions flowed right into me, and my heart just felt heavy. To leave all this and to go, that is quite a sacrifice. I played my last game and bade farewell to the place I had had the most fun in the last 9 months.
It was my birthday today, so my mum baked me a cake. My family had a small celebration for me. I've always wanted my mum to bake a cake for my birthday. She couldn't do it the last 2 years because of circumstances that I can't remember now. I was happy she baked one for me this time.
Hours later, it was Friday. I was still confused about what's happening. What is actually happening to me? Why am I feeling so emotionless when everything is centered on me now? I felt indifferent. I was still going with the flow. I was going out with my friends later tonight.
But before that, I had one last dinner with my coach and a few of my training friends. It was my last dinner with them, but I still couldn't grasp the magnitude of the event. The fact that the dinner was for me was not settling in. My emotions were shut out. I couldn't feel how much I would miss these people who had meant so much to me. I knew they were gonna feel it, and I'm sure the sight of me walking away after hugging each one of them stayed in for a while.
A while later, I was on the way to the night club with my friends. We tried our luck in one of the places, but got "kicked out" because we were below 21 years of age. Every other club was closed down because that Friday happened to be the day of mourning for the MH17 victims. After all the chaos of lost directions, we settled down in a bar. There were funny moments all along the way till we slept at 7.30 a.m. God bless the cleaners in McDonalds.
Again, I was still acting so normal. Why is that so? I couldn't come to terms with myself. It was as if it was a normal outing with friends. I didn't feel like I was leaving them. All that was running in my mind was that I'm not understanding the fact that I'm leaving to America the next day. It was as if it was a dream.
Saturday night, my friend helped me to repack my suitcase because my packing consumed too much space. Honestly, she did most of the packing and I was just staring at her doing it all the time. I knew I was going to miss her a lot as well. Tomorrow, at this time, I would be in the airport.
The atmosphere changed that night in my house. I could see the look on my siblings' face : The day they dreaded was approaching. I could feel the sadness in my sister's and brother's eyes as they watched my friend help me pack. I was leaving them for a long, long time. Somehow, I could feel their heart. I held back my tears.
Sunday finally came. I noticed every small thing I did, constantly telling myself that I probably won't be doing that for sometime. My relatives came over to see me that day. It all happened so fast. Soon, I was taking my last shower at home. I adorned my suit and was ready to leave. After a conversation, with my neighbours, I was on my way to the airport, with my family and closest buddies.
In the airport, I had to move some stuff from my luggage and things were good to go. My friends and I just had to get crazy again and rendezvoused in the playground inside the airport. All that while, all I could think of was "where else can I find friends like these?"
Before we knew it, we were at the gate. I gave my final hugs to my friends. I got a picture with every one of them-the last pictures I would take before I left. Each and every one of them meant something to me, and nobody could replace them. I don't know who to thank for bringing them in my life. We had a group hug and next up was my family.
My dad hugged me extra tightly that day. It had a different feel to it; he's probably already missing his son. My mum broke down in tears and I hugged her for a longer time than usual, saying "it's ok. I'll be back". My sister was in tears too. We never spent that much time before I left because she was already studying in her matriculation college, but she's been my sister for 18 years. She was definitely feeling the loss of the presence of her big brother. And my little brother, he was a strong boy. He said bye without shedding a single tear, but I knew he was probably gonna be affected the worst. We fight, we argue but at the end of the day, we are still brothers. And nobody can replace that figure in him.
I tried to give everyone one last look before I cleared immigration. Everyone was waving at me. At that moment, I realized how lucky I was to have so many people around me. Not everyone has that kind of luxury. One last familiar smile, one last wave, and I was off into the unknown......
P.S. The next blog post is going to be about Rusky. The author assures you that the emotional message will be much stronger then. It's not a story for the faint-hearted
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